The Journey Manifestation Gig & Penny Brohn Cancer Centre

Well hello folks.
Last weekend Jane (Amanda's sister) came over from the Isle of Man to attend one of Brandon Bay's (The lady that started 'The Journey', an emotional self help programme) UK seminars, with Amanda.  This one was called 'Manifest Abundance'.  It's always great when Jane comes over, because for the few hours she is here, either on the way to a seminar or on the way back to the airport, she makes herself incredibly useful.  She takes over the juicing so Amanda and I can
 get other things sorted, helps us prepare food, helps us clean up, and this time watered the veg too!  Jane you are a star, thank you so much.  You are the only other person to have ever used the Angel!  Anyone can donate a morning or afternoon of juicing for Amanda, we won't charge, you can eat as much fresh organic fruit and veg as you can manage!  Ha ha!  Thanks again Jane xxx.
Last week I ran the organic fruit and veg stall on  the Friday afternoon and evening, and even had an interesting encounter with a drunken young chap carrying his pint home.  He explained he wasn't a lout or hoody, having done very well at school.  He requested I did not judge him for bringing his pint home, which I didn't.  I assumed this was part of his generous nature, and that he was bringing it home for the benefit of his parched wife!  After twenty minutes I'd listened to much of his life story, whilst the rain pattered on the parasol I sat under.  During this twenty minutes he'd managed to come round the table and kiss me on the cheek then vowing to run a half marathon to raise money for the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre.  He told me not to forget his name, and took my email address to allow him to make contact in a few days to let me know his plans.  Well Scott Alexander, I haven't forgotten your name, and I look forward to getting out running with you, training for this half marathon.  I may knock out a few runs on my own over the next few days, just incase you have alot on!  Ha ha!  Lovely lad, good heart, bit tipsy!
Amanda and Jane had a thoroughly enjoyable time at the Manifest Abundance workshop, even though Jane was suffering a tickly cough, which almost pushed Amanda over the edge by the time they reached their third night, as she hadn't been able to sleep the first night due to suffering anxiety, and the second was tickly  coughed out too!  The third night was the final straw, where Amanda considered driving home in the middle of the night just to get some sleep.  Poor Jane, poor Amanda!  They both returned home on Monday lunch time absolutely shattered.
Jane took over after lunch helping us juice, tidy and water the garden to allow us to get ready for 3pm, when we had to be on the road to the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre in Bristol.  We were attending a 3 day retreat.
It's always a joy to arrive at the PBCC, and this time Duane and Amanda would be there too, a PBCC reunion!  Fantastic.

We had a room overlooking the wild flower meadow, our two little rooms backed onto one another, with an adjoining door by the headboards, these little rooms allowed Amanda some peace, quiet and space from me.  I was in the process of removing my net curtains before unpacking my bags, for a better view of the wild flower garden, when there was a gentle knock at the door.  Ruth, the night time care assistant noticed as she walked in, that my net curtains had started to fall off, and apologised.  She then helped me to put them back on the windows.  Once she'd finished her introductions, I ripped the nets off, the garden once again looked majestic through the clear glass!

Once again we met lots of wonderfully determined women.  All a little afraid, some more than others, mainly due to prognosis's of doctors and oncologists, giving them only months to live.  How on earth can they do this?  Give people deadlines for their life, literally 'deadlines'.  It's awful.  In many books we've read this action in itself can cause people to simply give up.... believing that what the doc or onc says must be true.  After all who on earth are they to be able to prove a doctor or oncologist wrong by living far beyond their expectations? But soooooo many people do it.  You only have to read a few books, talk to a few people, read a few blogs.  Have the will, the belief and something to live for, and these things become possible.  Changes of lifestyle in many cases will also be required, encompassing meditation/relaxation techniques and an ultra healthy diet, learning to enjoy these things, embracing your new lifestyle is I feel a must.
One wonderful lady called Gill, had rather rudely been given a new much shorter life expectancy than she had planned for herself, by her oncologist.  She spoke with her husband, and their solicitor to sort family money matters.  The lawyer advised that to pass money onto their children that the husband should right out cheques once Gill has passed away, helping avoid Inheritance Tax.  Gills words in our meeting were perfect, she was a beautifully spoken lady, and when she decided to use the 'f' word (excusing her language as she did) sounded pleasing.  Even though the oncologist had told Gill that he/she thought she would have less than 12 months to live, Gill stuck two fingers in the air to the oncologist and the lawyer deciding she was going to write the cheques to her sons, as she intended to live well past the 7 years required to clear the Inheritance Tax liability.  Awesome Gill, you are an inspiration, and with your determination I have no doubt you will beat this thing too!  Brilliant!
My Amanda, Daisy, Faith, Jean, Amanda, and Maria (an Asian lady who had been told she only had a two or three months left) are all incredible women.  You only have to be in their company for a few minutes to realise this.  They are all attending the PBCC because they are willing to try something different, an approach based upon emotional well being, nutrition, holistic approaches along with the orthodox side of things.  They aren't just doing the chemo, radio and hormone treatments, they realise there is more required than that.  Alot of them realise they had experienced or were still experiencing deep seated emotional issues too, it's amazing to listen to them talk.  Daisy for instance, had recently had a mammogram showing she was all clear, then after an extremely traumatic event a few weeks later, that lead to her having another scan or mammogram, there it was, a tumour in her breast.  Another example of stress induced cancer.  It was all very, very emotional.  We were split into two groups for the first hour session, each one of the ladies divulging their story, or part of their story.  It was touching, and upsetting.  Most of that hour I fought back tears of sadness and inspiration.  When I tried to talk about Amanda, my voice shook, broke and quivered.  My eyes welled up.  I quickly pulled myself together again.  The ladies all listened..... which I thank them all for.  I was there with Amanda, just as a supporter.  Compared to these ladies I was experiencing nothing, I felt like a fraud really.  Words of encouragement moved around our little group, especially for Maria, who sounded like she'd almost resigned to the fact that her life expectancy had already been set by the oncologist.  It was heart breaking to listen to her creaking, croaky little voice, shaking with sadness as she spoke.  Most the ladies all had fear and tears, it was one of the most emotional experiences of my life and will no doubt stay with me forever.  Thinking about it now makes me well up, but now I well up with pride, seeing the changes in each and every one of them over the three day retreat.  Poor Gill was in such pain, and I felt such sadness each time I noticed her discomfort, it exhausted her.  The pain she was suffering, along with all the information she was trying to take in, and all the conflicting views on what she could and couldn't eat was exhausting her.  I wished there was something I could do.... I tried to make them all laugh now and again, and I think I managed.... they may have been sympathy laughs at my rubbish sense of humour!
For example at one point we were carrying out an imagery technique.  We had to imagine the scenario of a beautiful kitchen, light pouring in through the windows, a bowl of lemons, and finally cutting into the lemon.  This was carried out over a few minutes, really getting into visualising the whole process.  We were then asked what we experienced, most had a watering mouth, or sensed the smell of lemon.  I held my hand up palm toward myself with one finger bent over at the knuckle, 'I slipped and cut the tip of my finger off' I exclaimed proudly, like a classroom clown.  Immature? Yes.
We carried out alot of relaxation, meditation, imagery and visualisation techniques over the three days, it was sooooo so relaxing.  My problem was that whenever we sat in the circle on the super comfortable chairs, and started to meditate, within 10 minutes I was dropping off to sleep.  The last morning, I even managed a full blown snore, which not only woke me, but also embarrassed me!  I think the fact that I'd been rising at 4.30am to fish at the little lake 5 minutes walk down road certainly didn't help matters either.

Day 2 we had 45 minute meetings with a Dr, a Nutritionist and a Spiritual Healer.  I didn't really learn anything new, but having never had a 'healing' session before I was looking forward to the experience.  Diana the healer was a lovely silver haired lady, with soft features.  The 'healing' was to be carried out in a little office, but seeing as the weather was lovely I asked if she would mind carrying out her healing process in the garden.  She agreed.  Marvellous!  I had twenty minutes of 'healing', I didn't feel anything, and luckily neither did Diana!  It was very relaxing.  I asked Diana what it was all about.  She told me that it was about realigning the Chakras and the Qi (pronounced chi).  She told me that there is energy everywhere, floating around us, and that what she was doing, was drawing on this healing energy, tapping into it, and channelling it through her hands into her 'healee'.  So there you go.  I'm not healed, my shoulder still hurts, but I don't think it's as simple as all that, and the fact that I'm still a bit cynical creates a slight block.  I am open to it all, but sometimes the draught blowing back through the open door of my mind is still too strong..... It's starting to drop away, and one day I'm sure it will, but at the moment the draught is still a little high on the Beaufort scale.

On the final day Amanda was very moved by some of the meditations and imagery techniques used, actually breaking down into tears.  I find it hard to see her so upset, I went across the room knelt down at her chair and wrapped my arms around her.  Her little frame shook as she sobbed, her head buried into my shoulder.  She still hasn't told me what she saw or experienced.  One day she will, then it will remain with me.
Just before this meditation we had to take a silent mindful walk through the gardens.  Noticing everything around us, being fully aware of our wonderful surroundings.  I followed a couple of butterflies, then ended up watching a chap tending his bee hive at the bottom of the garden.... silence was over for me at that point, no great surprise to most of you!  I chatted to him about the bees, and the benefits of having the hive right next to a wild flower garden.  It was all very interesting... so much so that I didn't hear the gong, and wandered into the room where we all gathered a couple of minutes late.  I'd also wandered out into the garden bare foot, and when I popped my feet up on the recliner, Amanda pointed out that there were many 'brown' items stuck to the soles of my feet.  Nice.

Amanda has reduced her Gerson Therapy down to 8 juices again, currently favouring more time spent in meditation, dealing with her deep set emotional issues and anxieties.  She feels this was more the cause of her cancer than the nutritional side of things.  She is trying to find balance between a healing nutritional approach and a handling of emotion approach.  Amanda must do what is right for her, what she believes can heal her will heal her.  Watch out.... I'm starting to sound all new age!  But seriously remember, stress is a killer.  It is an immuno suppressant, it gets in the way of our immune system working at its' full capacity.  It causes heart attacks, it causes cancer, it causes more and more health problems, physical and mental.  Learn to recognise it in yourself if you can, it could help prolong your life, make you a healthier person all round.  Learn to relax, learn to meditate a tiny bit.... I dare you, give it a try!

Mum & Dad have bought a juicer, Mum has seen the benefits of removing dairy from her diet already.  The arthritic pain in her finger joints having decreased markedly over recent months.  She now intends to get juicing.  These super healthy juices can only help Dad's multiple sclerosis, and once he embraces a really healthy diet I believe this will benefit him no end too.  Instead of fighting Mum's healthy approach, maybe he will give it a try.  I certainly hope so.

The stall went well today, thanks to our friends that have shown us support.  Amanda really appreciates it.  Thanks to our weekly regulars Kesh & Steve, Esther & Shaun, Kate, Susie, and all our lovely neighbours.  It really helps us.  Thank you xxx

Amanda is upstairs meditating, this post has took almost 2 hours, and I didn't really scratch the surface of the past week.  For that I apologise. 
To all the wonderful ladies we met at PBCC this week, good luck with your new journeys.  You are all very impressive, determined people.  If any of you ever need anything please don't hesitate to get in touch. 
I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Love to you all.

Mark.