Our lives have blended with a modicum of normality now we're home. Amanda is still in pain, but she's dealing with it. She takes less breakthrough medication at home than she did at hospice. Here she can go lie down and be with herself until it subsides. There is no one to push painkillers her way, she makes the decisions, I just help. Her once very dexterous aren't working for her due to the root nerve compression in the cervical spine (the neck), this is very frustrating for her. Plus of course the intense pain down the arms, but she is coping. All the prayers for healing along with all the positive messages and thoughts from friends and family do help. They are at times so touching that they bring tears to my eyes.
One such message was from Amanda's uncle who lives in Scarborough. He posted this touching message on FB after chatting with
Amanda on the phone.....
Another beautiful thing that happened today was an envelope that appeared in the post this morning from Banbury. It had a beautiful hand made card, plus a large cheque and a touching message. The message stated that the only rule was for Amanda to spend the money frivolously on herself. This also made me well up..... I'm doing it again now as I type this message. Thank you Jane, this was such a kind, beautiful and generous act. You are a wonderful soul. Amanda was blown away, incredibly touched. She will no doubt be in touch soon.
Our families are constantly showering us with generosity, it seems to know no bounds at the moment. The universe is showing great kindness within Amanda's suffering. Showing how wonderful we can all be as human beings. Our levels of empathy, love and kindness seem to inflate at times like this. We become more in touch with ourselves, our deep emotions. How many of us sit and wonder what it would be like not to have the full use of our hands? We don't, because we have no need to. But when we do we feel huge empathy. Buttons and zips are no longer simply fastening systems, they are a physical challenge, most everyday tasks become a challenge, where assistance is required. None of us like to rely on others all the time. It makes us feel needy, reliant, no longer independent. It's tough. Sometimes it's hard to convince the person with the need that you just want to be there for them whatever. Just because you love them more than anything in the world...... but I keep trying.
Amanda is currently sitting outside with her sister. I've made them a super healthy breakfast and the glorious sun is warming their faces. I look out from the kitchen towards my love and pray for her healing. All this effort, all this pain, she deserves some kindness. She is a beautiful person and I'm so lucky to be with her....
Keep the positivity coming, the visualisations of her snowboarding, trekking, running and mountain biking. When she sleeps her dreams allow her to snowboard. This time next year we'll be in the mountains!
Yesterday Amanda wanted to have a look in a couple of shops for sunglasses and flip flops. It was hard work for her, but it was a success. I think she thoroughly enjoyed it! It's the first time she's been in a shop for months, so quite and adventure. Even I enjoyed it, just knowing she was enjoying having a rummage.
Today Amanda, Robyn and I enjoyed a wonderful lunch at my Mum & Dad's. Delicious butternut squash soup, followed by fresh salad and baked potatoes. It was all topped off with a delicious baked apple stuffed with dried fruits. Thanks Mum it was a lovely afternoon xxx.
Big love to everyone following Amanda's progress and my prose.
Mark.
One such message was from Amanda's uncle who lives in Scarborough. He posted this touching message on FB after chatting with
Amanda on the phone.....
'Yesterday
I received a phone call of my niece at the end of the conversation I
felt so proud that my sister could give to this world such a strong
and determined person, I felt humbled I lover her very much and I
think all my friends will know who I am talking about, if you read
this kid I have tears in my eyes of happiness crack on, uncle Norm xx
Love you to bits xx'
Another beautiful thing that happened today was an envelope that appeared in the post this morning from Banbury. It had a beautiful hand made card, plus a large cheque and a touching message. The message stated that the only rule was for Amanda to spend the money frivolously on herself. This also made me well up..... I'm doing it again now as I type this message. Thank you Jane, this was such a kind, beautiful and generous act. You are a wonderful soul. Amanda was blown away, incredibly touched. She will no doubt be in touch soon.
Our families are constantly showering us with generosity, it seems to know no bounds at the moment. The universe is showing great kindness within Amanda's suffering. Showing how wonderful we can all be as human beings. Our levels of empathy, love and kindness seem to inflate at times like this. We become more in touch with ourselves, our deep emotions. How many of us sit and wonder what it would be like not to have the full use of our hands? We don't, because we have no need to. But when we do we feel huge empathy. Buttons and zips are no longer simply fastening systems, they are a physical challenge, most everyday tasks become a challenge, where assistance is required. None of us like to rely on others all the time. It makes us feel needy, reliant, no longer independent. It's tough. Sometimes it's hard to convince the person with the need that you just want to be there for them whatever. Just because you love them more than anything in the world...... but I keep trying.
Amanda is currently sitting outside with her sister. I've made them a super healthy breakfast and the glorious sun is warming their faces. I look out from the kitchen towards my love and pray for her healing. All this effort, all this pain, she deserves some kindness. She is a beautiful person and I'm so lucky to be with her....
Keep the positivity coming, the visualisations of her snowboarding, trekking, running and mountain biking. When she sleeps her dreams allow her to snowboard. This time next year we'll be in the mountains!
Yesterday Amanda wanted to have a look in a couple of shops for sunglasses and flip flops. It was hard work for her, but it was a success. I think she thoroughly enjoyed it! It's the first time she's been in a shop for months, so quite and adventure. Even I enjoyed it, just knowing she was enjoying having a rummage.
Today Amanda, Robyn and I enjoyed a wonderful lunch at my Mum & Dad's. Delicious butternut squash soup, followed by fresh salad and baked potatoes. It was all topped off with a delicious baked apple stuffed with dried fruits. Thanks Mum it was a lovely afternoon xxx.
Big love to everyone following Amanda's progress and my prose.
Mark.
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