Leaving Hospice for Home Sweet Home....

In the end I think the doctors realised the only way they were getting shut of Amanda and I was by providing all the medication we felt was necessary to make home life possible.  This meant, most importantly that we had a 'breakthrough' drug.  Something that if the pain gets totally out of control, we can rely on.  The only thing that worked was a controlled drug (not normally permitted in the community) that had to be administered via a syringe, normally only carried out by a medical professional.... Not me for instance.  I pestered them to allow us to have the breakthrough at home, assuring them I was confident enough to
administer the injection if necessary.  We discussed it with the doctors and they agreed this could be arranged with all the t's crossed and i's dotted.  I would be given a demonstration (on top of the last 6 weeks of demo's I've had whilst observing in Hospice!) and then asked to replicate.... On an orange.
They seemed to all lose confidence as I fainted at the first sign of fresh orange juice (joking!).
I now have the most pain free chilled out piece of fruit in the northern hemisphere.  It remained perfectly still and never complained once, suggesting my technique was clearly very good indeed.  The orange is, as we speak, resting sedately on the sideboard with an elastoplast stuck to it's most recent site ensuring that it doesn't bleed it's juice everywhere.  A hemorrhaging orange is not a pretty site!
So here we are on our final night in the hospice.  The wind is howling outside as I look out towards the mountainous spine of the island.... and as Amanda presses her 'call bell' for some wholemeal toast we realise that at home we do not have a bell that makes food and medication suddenly appear.....  The food side will definitely be missed, though the healthiness of the food will increase!  Just in case any of the nurses or doctors ever stumble upon my musings, I'd like to thank them all for their kindness and assistance in trying to manage Amanda's pain, and putting up with us for almost 6 weeks second time round.  It's a great place to be if you're very sick and have no one capable of helping you, but there is nowhere like your own space.  A place where the door won't constantly swing open and uninvited chaplains, or sadistic counsellors with commands to 'give up' 'accept that you are going to die' attitude..... There will be peace from negativity and the deletion of all hope.   That aside I have to say the nurses have been fantastic.  Particular thanks to Vicky (a lovely nurse who will no doubt one day be sister at the Hospice, and of course all the other nurses too who were absolutely lovely), Julie (aromatherpist) and Alison (accupuncturist) and all the doctors with their sometimes very different recommendations and one or two with their slightly curious bedside manner, partly due to our steady barrage of questions and potential recommendations.  Thanks to Jane who fed us with copious amounts of wholemeal toast most nights, and everyone else who has aided us on this journey of pain management, including of course the kitchen staff, Chris, Jill and Wayne.
Tomorrow morning we'll be home.... With the pain partially under control... Let the healing begin!