Here I am updating the blog from my usual spot, on the first floor of the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre in Bristol. Amanda is here to have her Shiatsu Massage, then partake in a mediation later, which I may also participate in, if I get everything sorted before 12pm (I've just been informed it's a full house, no room at the inn.... ah well.)
Amanda and I have been in Cardiff for heading on for 3 weeks now, no one told us it was one of the wettest places on the planet! Ha ha! I think we have just hit it at a bad time. Here I am living a couple of miles from the fantastic river Taff, yet it has been too high to fish! Tumbling chocolate brown torrents are currently piling their way down stream. Yesterday hail storms combined with thunder and lightning were the order of the day! Gorgeous! Today? It's just hammering down.
Amanda has been doing lots of travel planning, the applications for our Vietnam Visas were sent off yesterday, so things are actually starting to happen. Amanda's newish diet is a little more relaxed now, in preparation for travelling, allowing the odd 'out for a meal' treat. Her options are vegetarian or fish dishes. She picks food that won't have dairy in it, so no creamy sauces or anything like that. She's also had the very odd glass of wine or champagne whilst at friends houses, though she is not making a habit of it. Even on 'The Food Hospital' on Channel 4 last night, an oncologist from the Bedfordshire Hospital stated that any positives from the reservatrol found in red wine is outweighed by the fact that it contains alcohol. He went on to say that even one alcoholic beverage a day is harmful as far as cancer goes. Two friends of ours in Banbury, Pete & Tracey recently gave up boozing, fed up of suffering two to three day hangovers. They were at a gathering on Saturday night, orange juicing it all night long. Lovely to see. But like us, the first question they were always asked was why? You must have an answer prepared for the UK's alcohol adoring masses! Ha ha! It's hard for us all to get a grasp of why anyone would stop enjoying the inebriating benefits of alcohol, isn't it?!!! Ha ha! It's only when someone suffers from a directly related health issue that most folk decide to actually cut down. Yes cut down, very rarely give it up! It's amazing isn't it. Booze has a powerful hold over the majority of Great Britain!
The Bedfordshire Oncologist also has his cancer patients on 'Cancer Diets'. Broccoli, Turmeric, Tomatoes and tonnes of other fruit and veg..... many of the foods you'd have read about here many months ago. Things are changing! Even on the 10 o'clock news last week, it was stated that if people made lifestyle changes with regards to their diet alone, between 40% & 50% of cancers would never happen. That's a hell of a lot of cancer!
There is still no mention of depression and anxiety suppressing the immune system in the huge media circles as yet, but it will come. Probably another 10 more years down the line and we'll start hearing rumblings about peace of mind and the massive benefits of meditation.
Whilst lay in bed the night before last, just looking in to one anothers eyes, I'd suggested doing 'the eyes' for 5 whole minutes, not a staring contest or anything, just looking and loving. About 1 minute into the session my beautiful wife burst into tears and sobbed. She wouldn't tell me why, she didn't want to talk about it. It was incredibly sad to see. I just snuggled her into my chest and stroked her until we started dropping off to sleep. Shortly after that I no doubt started to twitch and kick like a dreaming dog, pulling, pushing and poking her!
Last night we put on a Learn to Salsa DVD. It was great fun, apart from me getting grumpy about not being able to follow the steps. Freestyling, that's more my style! I've got the loose hips, but I do seem to struggle when following the hip swaying maestro's on screen performance! We have the basic steps down now, I just have to look at my feet the entire time, whilst permanently expressing of deep strained level of concentration all over my face..... In another week we'll be Salsa-ing with the best of 'em!
When we went to bed Amanda asked me was I going to make her cry again tonight, and giggled.
She then opened up about why she'd become so upset.
It's all to do with her operation. She doesn't like me to look at her anymore (how could I not, she is adorable, sexy and beautiful - except her angry face). How ever beautiful I think she still is, it remains in her mind that she must now be repulsive to me. She feels like she's some sort of physical freak, which is so so sad. I think she is as beautiful as she ever was. I'd love to see her comfortable again in her own skin. Within 10 minutes I thought it only fitting to physically demonstrate how sexy and beautiful she still is! Way haaaay! From deep and sensitive one minute to sexual innuendos the next. Sorry folks.
I do think it worked a little bit, I'll have to keep trying this method to test it's long term efficiency as a form of treatment - I know I know, but someone has to do it! Ha ha! Maybe I can come at it from a different angle..... How rude! Ha ha!
Amanda would consider surgery if.... well, if it didn't mean surgery really. She'd like to 'even herself up' as she puts it. She feels a bit wonky. But let me tell you, she still looks awesome! Surgery is certainly not required for my benefit, but if it made Amanda feel better in herself, less self conscious and more self loving again, well it may be something she looks further down the line.
Speak soon xxx
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