As the title suggests it''s been a tough week.....
Amanda's pain initially reduced with an increase of the Hydromorphone Slow Release a week or so ago, then after a £160.00 skype meeting with Dr Rosy Daniels of Health Creation in the UK she made the decision to re-jig things. Rosy provided her thoughts on what the best course of action was. A few more changes to the diet, controversial ones in my mind according to
what every other cancer therapy suggests, but Amanda wants to give it a try. She also suggested plenty of supplements to boost the immune system (available from Cytoplan or Rosy Daniels directly), plus some other herbs to bring in. She talked about Oestrogen blockades, which would have a high chance of bringing on early menopause - more suffering for Amanda if that occurred. Amanda clearly feels she needs guidance from an 'outsider' as the suggestion of her at least trying Herceptin by Rosy D has convinced her. She suggested it's likely that this could bring about some serious tumour regression. The knock on from this would a reduction in the need for the constant supply of painkillers and steroids, thus reducing the drag on an already tired liver. A few of the pages of Rosy's report sounded a bit like a sales pitch for Cytoplan..... But I'm sceptical about everything until I've thoroughly researched it or had first hand experience or at least heard first hand experience!
After my previous post I'm dubious about the Herceptin and from the 'Comment' from Alison, a cancer and treatment sufferer herself. I may be dubious but I pray she is one of the ladies this works for. See below.
It's a tough read isn't it. Put yourself in the place of these ladies.... Just for 5 minutes......
Today has been a tough day. The Doctor suggested a change in night time meds yesterday, it didn't go well.
She's been groggy, sleepy and has had no idea what's been happening all day. I find this the most upsetting thing. It's not like I'm communicating with my Amanda.... Her eyes roll slowly, the words are slurred and muffled.... It makes me cry..... and that's no use to anyone.
Today she slurred sometimes she feels I hate her. I have an abrupt 'matter of fact' rather abrupt manner at times, no doubt brought on by my long battle with impatience. It still shows through now and again, but for Amanda to even hold this thought in her beautiful mind is unbelievable.... Today this made me cry.... In fact it made me sob uncontrollably for longer than I've ever cried before.... I think it's been coming for a while. I feel confused and stressed with everything. I want my wife to be well. I want to know that what we're doing is helping, but there is no way of knowing at the moment. Should we change from using the Protocel protocol to Dr Rosy Daniels or someone else's suggestion? I don't know.... and this is what causes me to feel anxious, worried, at times teetering on the edge. We have no real control over the situation, but we do have choices.... choices and trust.... choices, trust and love for one another and everyone that gives their time, their thoughts and their prayers for Amanda. Amanda my cherished wife, my best friend my every thought..... There's always going to be tough times. This healing business can be a drawn out affair. I need to remain strong, but losing sleep over the past couple of nights has made me overly emotional. This morning I tended to Amanda (not in that way!) at 3.50am.... It was just becoming light. Once she'd fallen back to sleep (she barely woke) I took a drive for a couple of hours. I headed down towards Douglas promenade. I parked up on the promenade and took a walk alongside the sea at high tide just before sunrise. It was quiet. I saw only one drunk. He sported shorts and a vest from an early start to his session the evening before. His scuffed elbows and knees suggested he'd fallen earlier at the peak of his staggering escapades. His can of beer swung gently by his side as he now strode over confidently along the deserted walkway.
I'd seen enough of the promenade, so drove to the highlands of the island. I thought I'd take a picture or two at sunrise. I parked up spotting a likely area that may produce a fine view finder full of fun. I took on a large diamond patterned cattle grid which attempted to break me and my camera equipment. Once I'd picked myself up, fished the camera lens cover from beneath the grid and checked for any bodily fractures, dislocations or damaged camera gear I clambered under the fence on to the heathland, nursing a banged knee and elbow. I set up the camera then spent the next 15 minutes wrestling with an invisible entomological force.... Midges.... hundreds of tiny, tiny midges. The harmless bites invoked such itching and irritation during the blood sucking process that photography became nigh on impossible. Under the fence and the long way around the cattle/'clumsy human' grid and I was once again in the sanctuary of my car.... It was 5.30am. I drove home.
I lowered Amanda's hospital bed to the level of my single bed. I clambered across mine, levitating over the narrow gap that had quickly formed between the two mattresses. I snuggled in to her as gently as I could.... A rare treat due to her pain. I kissed her cheek, whispered in her ear, held her hand and slept until 7am. Seven am is when breakfast is prepared.....
Family and friends keep the love coming.
Healers keep the healing coming
Pray-ers keep the prayers coming
Keep the positive energy flowing!
Big love.
Mark.
Amanda's pain initially reduced with an increase of the Hydromorphone Slow Release a week or so ago, then after a £160.00 skype meeting with Dr Rosy Daniels of Health Creation in the UK she made the decision to re-jig things. Rosy provided her thoughts on what the best course of action was. A few more changes to the diet, controversial ones in my mind according to
what every other cancer therapy suggests, but Amanda wants to give it a try. She also suggested plenty of supplements to boost the immune system (available from Cytoplan or Rosy Daniels directly), plus some other herbs to bring in. She talked about Oestrogen blockades, which would have a high chance of bringing on early menopause - more suffering for Amanda if that occurred. Amanda clearly feels she needs guidance from an 'outsider' as the suggestion of her at least trying Herceptin by Rosy D has convinced her. She suggested it's likely that this could bring about some serious tumour regression. The knock on from this would a reduction in the need for the constant supply of painkillers and steroids, thus reducing the drag on an already tired liver. A few of the pages of Rosy's report sounded a bit like a sales pitch for Cytoplan..... But I'm sceptical about everything until I've thoroughly researched it or had first hand experience or at least heard first hand experience!
After my previous post I'm dubious about the Herceptin and from the 'Comment' from Alison, a cancer and treatment sufferer herself. I may be dubious but I pray she is one of the ladies this works for. See below.
Hi,
I have had various treatments including surgery, chemotherapy,
radiotherapy followed by Tamoxifen and when that stopped working all
manner of hormone therapies and Pamidronate and when they stopped
working it was back to chemo but in a tablet form which I was
promised would be made tolerable.I always promised myself I would
never have chemo again but after 2 weeks of deliberation I decided to
give it a try and 3 days later I had heart problems. I stopped
immediately and have found a sort of peace by following my intuition
which I should have listened to in the first place. It is over 6
years from diagnosis to where I am now so I guess I would be classed
as a success in medical terms. I am grateful that I am still alive 6
years on but have felt all along that it is all about money. The
cancer industry is big business. Simple. I am facing each day as it
comes. When you say 'No' to conventional treatment, what is left for
you is the dedicated teams who run the hospices where you become a
person again and not a case study or an experiment. I am beginning to
experience the symptoms of my cells rapidly dividing and there's not
much left of me where things aren't as they should be but at least I
can now say that this is my body and I choose not to bombard it with
poisonous noxious substances that will make me feel so unwell that
life as I know it would be so severly compromised I have to ask
myself the question is it really worth it ? I totally agree with your
views, its about time treatment for cancer changed. From start to
finish its all about serious life changing decisions based on fear,
not enough information , very little understanding of what is
actually happening to you and an impending sense of doom putting
pressure on an individual to accept anything and everything going.
Personally I think that sick people are big business, and its no
accident the food we eat , the lifestyles we lead, the air we
breathe...Go out and look for good food to buy ..it's not that easy.
Look at the water we drink, what's actually in it ? Maybe ignorance
is bliss , cancer is on the increase they say. Is it really any
wonder ? We are drip fed false hope along with chemicals so toxic it
makes your hair fall out. Or your heart stop beating. What a sad
state of affairs.
It's a tough read isn't it. Put yourself in the place of these ladies.... Just for 5 minutes......
Today has been a tough day. The Doctor suggested a change in night time meds yesterday, it didn't go well.
She's been groggy, sleepy and has had no idea what's been happening all day. I find this the most upsetting thing. It's not like I'm communicating with my Amanda.... Her eyes roll slowly, the words are slurred and muffled.... It makes me cry..... and that's no use to anyone.
Today she slurred sometimes she feels I hate her. I have an abrupt 'matter of fact' rather abrupt manner at times, no doubt brought on by my long battle with impatience. It still shows through now and again, but for Amanda to even hold this thought in her beautiful mind is unbelievable.... Today this made me cry.... In fact it made me sob uncontrollably for longer than I've ever cried before.... I think it's been coming for a while. I feel confused and stressed with everything. I want my wife to be well. I want to know that what we're doing is helping, but there is no way of knowing at the moment. Should we change from using the Protocel protocol to Dr Rosy Daniels or someone else's suggestion? I don't know.... and this is what causes me to feel anxious, worried, at times teetering on the edge. We have no real control over the situation, but we do have choices.... choices and trust.... choices, trust and love for one another and everyone that gives their time, their thoughts and their prayers for Amanda. Amanda my cherished wife, my best friend my every thought..... There's always going to be tough times. This healing business can be a drawn out affair. I need to remain strong, but losing sleep over the past couple of nights has made me overly emotional. This morning I tended to Amanda (not in that way!) at 3.50am.... It was just becoming light. Once she'd fallen back to sleep (she barely woke) I took a drive for a couple of hours. I headed down towards Douglas promenade. I parked up on the promenade and took a walk alongside the sea at high tide just before sunrise. It was quiet. I saw only one drunk. He sported shorts and a vest from an early start to his session the evening before. His scuffed elbows and knees suggested he'd fallen earlier at the peak of his staggering escapades. His can of beer swung gently by his side as he now strode over confidently along the deserted walkway.
I'd seen enough of the promenade, so drove to the highlands of the island. I thought I'd take a picture or two at sunrise. I parked up spotting a likely area that may produce a fine view finder full of fun. I took on a large diamond patterned cattle grid which attempted to break me and my camera equipment. Once I'd picked myself up, fished the camera lens cover from beneath the grid and checked for any bodily fractures, dislocations or damaged camera gear I clambered under the fence on to the heathland, nursing a banged knee and elbow. I set up the camera then spent the next 15 minutes wrestling with an invisible entomological force.... Midges.... hundreds of tiny, tiny midges. The harmless bites invoked such itching and irritation during the blood sucking process that photography became nigh on impossible. Under the fence and the long way around the cattle/'clumsy human' grid and I was once again in the sanctuary of my car.... It was 5.30am. I drove home.
I lowered Amanda's hospital bed to the level of my single bed. I clambered across mine, levitating over the narrow gap that had quickly formed between the two mattresses. I snuggled in to her as gently as I could.... A rare treat due to her pain. I kissed her cheek, whispered in her ear, held her hand and slept until 7am. Seven am is when breakfast is prepared.....
Family and friends keep the love coming.
Healers keep the healing coming
Pray-ers keep the prayers coming
Keep the positive energy flowing!
Big love.
Mark.
The love is coming- stay strong, you sound so frustrated and confused- stick to your guns- you are amazing, give amanda a kiss from me- lots of love susie
ReplyDeleteI am.... but simple decisions can leave me frustrated and confused! Ha ha! Thanks for the support Susie x
DeleteMark and Amanda: I have been following your journey as I began mine. Though we probably will never meet, I feel I know you to some measure. The love you hold for each other will see you through what ever the outcome. If it's any comfort, the two of you have already "lived" more than most of us will ever could in several lifetimes.
ReplyDeleteI will keep you in my thoughts and prayers ............ Mike O"Grady
Good morning Mike, I do hope your journey is going well. You're right Mike we do try to squeeze plenty in to our lives, and with all those highs there must come some lows. Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting, and finally, thanks for the prayers. Mark.
Delete