Thursday, 26 September 2013

Insomnia and Priorities....

I lie in the darkness... It's not black. Light seeps in. It's the darkest of greys, speckled like noise on a digital camera image or grain on a black and white photograph... This greyness tells me my eyes are open, not closed as I'd thought. I'm thinking. I'm always thinking. Unless of course I'm meditating. Then there is peace. Sometimes I choose to contemplate. Contemplation leads to many emotions. Happiness, smiles and joy.... but it nearly always ends in tears.
I comtemplate what it is that creates my own grief surrounding Amanda's passing.
There is the obvious loss, the missing, the emptiness.... 'but there is more' (to paraphrase a silly Irish comedian from the 80's called Jimmy Cricket). It's not just the obvious loss, missing and emptiness.... it's not even the complete and utter loss of emotional and life direction. Much of it comes from no longer feeling 'needed'.

A couple of weeks ago I was sat fishing in the warm sun on a very quiet section of coastline. The tide had been receding for an hour, the water already shallow, beginning to drop back revealing rocks beneath.... By now (when Amanda was fit and healthy) I'd normally be having thoughts of returning home to prepare dinner for us both... or returning home because I simply missed her and wanted to head home. I'd always be wanting that last cast, but I'd head home because I was 'needed' and I 'needed' to see, hold, kiss my wife.
As I sat there, uncomfortably perched on a rather jagged rock, my orange bubble float was gently being washed on to the weed covered rocks by tiny lapping waves. I was day dreaming.... drifting....


Today I don't need to go home. Today, like yesterday, and tomorrow I'm not needed. I have no one to return to. A huge wave of

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Life.

It's been 25 days since Amanda passed away.... Much has happened over these few days.
There has been much grieving and confusion from everyone who loved, adored, respected and treasured this beautiful woman. Hopefully love, respect and forgiveness will eventually abound from the negativity that sometimes arises from the doubt, guilt and fear instilled within us all.

I received two beautifully kind hand written letters stating how much the blog had restored their faith in human love and kindness. The chaps who penned these letter agreed that Amanda did indeed leave a beautiful impression on everyone who was lucky enough to meet her. One of these letters contained a wonderfully generous donation of £200 to Amanda's charity, the Indian Pre-School in Gokarna. I won't name the chap, but I would like to him once again for such a grand show of generosity.

There have been many sleepless nights over these past few weeks, and many tears shed by all Amanda's daughter, husband, friends, relatives. Here on the blog I can only speak of my own personal experience. My empathy and compassion lies with

Sunday, 1 September 2013

6 years married today....

Thank you all for all your supportive words and messages over the past few days.  They are heartfelt and beautiful.
Thank you all for your donations to Amanda's worthy cause, the Shankar Prasad pre-school in Gokarna India.  We've currently raised over £600.  Amazing.  Amanda would be very proud of you all, and be moved by such a great show of generosity.

Today Amanda and I would have been married for six years (although we first got together for a few months of affection and love 17 years ago, then decided to travel our own paths before getting back together on numerous occasions, up until 9 years ago,when we both decided we were ready to fully commit to one another... This plus the fact I was then willing to move away from the Isle of Man!).... I hoped for at least 45 years of married bliss before one of us popped our clogs, but what can you do?
The last few weeks of Amanda's life haunt me, the final days, weeks, hours and that final minute torture me.... I am sure I could have done more.  It matters not what anyone else tells me or writes in heartfelt messages.  As long as I believe I could have done more, that's how it is.  This is what eats me at quiet times.  Why when I loved her so much did I not do more to make something happen?  My mind is frustrating me.  Upsetting me.  Graphic images, sounds and unanswered questions race around in my head.... Then, I focus and once again regain control bringing my attention to the love we had... The love I still hold for Amanda.... Then the cycle begins again.

I ordered a large print of Amanda sat on the Beas river in Manali, India.  It arrived the day after Amanda's send off.  I opened it and wept at her beauty amidst the raw energy of nature that surrounded her.  Why was she not by my side any longer?  Where was she?  Many words of wisdom and kindness are gestured my way.  A smorgasbord of cliches.   As my friend correctly pointed out, cliches become cliches because they are considered to be intelligent observations, words of wisdom that are used over and over again to offer comfort to those in need.... I keep all the messages to read over again... because at some point I will no doubt feel comforted by the fact that so many care about my state of mind and precarious current fragile emotional wellbeing, but at times I just see words.... I don't really feel anything.  Please don't let this put you off sending me messages of kindness, they are lovely.... It's just at the moment my emotions are unrecognisable.   My thoughts are beffudled.

My wife looking thoughtful amidst the peace of nature..... Stunning.... Simply Stunning....

Over recent days whilst surrounded by friends having fun, or whilst experiencing exhilaration through mountain biking alongside vertical drops above the sea I felt brief sparks of joy, but these sparks quickly succumb to 'I wish Amanda was here with me, she would have added another dimension of fun and love to the day, to the event... to whatever was going on.'  Then I think how much she would have enjoyed what we were doing, how much I'd have enjoyed having her beside me, her love circling around me like a warm coat... little glimpses at one another, playful eye contact and cheeky smiles....  Then I realise that is never going to happen again.... then as if my body has become an absorbent vessel capable of converting all emotion to  sadness and the ground I stand on has become a pool of sorrow... I fill, I expand to full capacity.... the overflow spilling out as tears from my eyes..... I weep.....
I guess this is how it's going to be for a while.

Friday, 30 August 2013

Laid to Rest.... The Service....

If you listen on a laptop or desktop there is audio with this post....

Yesterday, Thursday 29th August was a powerfully emotional day.  It was the day we were to officially acknowledge Amanda's passing.... The preparation sleep proved evasive, but meditation allowed me to feel rested as the sun rose.  At 8am we collected Amanda from the Funeral Directors in her white poppy print casket and brought her back to her sisters house.  Rose petals and little bunches of exquisite wild flowers, beautifully put together by Amanda's Aunt Linda were strewn over and around my wife's casket.  Candles flickered on the window sill.  The room looked beautiful.  Personal treasures and notes were left inside the casket with Amanda.  My goodbyes

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Amanda's Wishes....

Over the next  few days I will post little excerpts of Amanda's musings.....
This one was regarding her wishes were for her send off.....

'If this doesn't all pan out as Mark & I hope, I've asked Mark to 'deal with my arrangements'. I have faith in his emotional strength to carry out these wishes whatever the opinions of others. We all hope our lives will be long, healthy and fruitful, but one day we will all pass on. The time for our spirit to leave our physical body remains a mystery to us all.

During October we attended Tushita. A beautiful meditation centre set amidst the foothills of the Himalayas. We were to partake in their '10 day Introduction to Buddhism course'. 10 days of near silence but for one hour set aside each afternoon to discuss what we had learned. It was a beautiful experience. Mark & I were so privileged to meet many wonderful like minded people deepening their knowledge and understanding of Buddhism philosophy.
On the sixth morning we meditated on death. Many participants wept, no doubt the

Friday, 23 August 2013

A River of Love....

Laughing.... Really Laughing..... xxx
What can I say?  You have all left me dumbfounded, bathed by love, compassion and empathy.... Beautiful heartfelt messages for Amanda, myself, Robyn and the family that miss her so much.  Moving poems, memory filled photographs, sweet tributes... Facebook juddered in to life the evening after Amanda's passing.  I typed and wept responding to beautiful tributes and voices of friends.
Early that evening a strange thing happened - No doubt I'll begin to make more and more tedious links as the days and weeks go by - But whilst sat looking out from the back of my parenets house a heron, slim and elegant with her exquisitely long neck perched a top the wooden arched treliss outside the window.  She stood looking in the living room window and the window above where Amanda and I slept during last summer.  This magnificent looking creature, towering near

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Peace...

Yesterday evening saw Amanda's breathing take on a sound not unlike someone blowing and sucking down a straw placed amongst melting ice cubes in the bottom of glass, but only louder... far louder.  It was so difficult to listen to.  It sounded so uncomfortable, but she wasn't struggling with it.... Though I knew she was slipping further away from us.  Everyone felt it.
Amanda's Mum Colleen ensured that tonight it would just be my beautiful wife and I alone together.  Uninterrupted.  She know.  I built my bed to the height of Amanda's with pillows to lie as close to her as I could.  I chatted for hours about what we'd achieved over the years.  About how she had changed me for the better.  Brought calm to my life.  I told her how beautifully she had blossomed over the years, just when I thought her mind could become no purer and loving once again she would soar.  Her beauty seemed to increase year on year.  We shared earphones and listened to

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

We all love her.....

Three weeks ago today Amanda went in to hospital for some routine treatment, since then everything changed.  To say the past 3 weeks have been difficult for my beautiful wife would be an understatement.... 5 days after the hospital visit (after her pain had settled to what she considered a manageable level again) there was the replacement of oral medication with a syringe driver to deliver her payload of painkillers, sedatives and anti-sickness medication, as the oral drugs were sometimes coming back up.  I made Amanda a promise.  A promise that I would never give up.  So at her request I continued with a couple of fresh carrot juices each day, green teas and two almond milk and goats yoghurt vitamin and mineral packed drinks.  Initially Amanda sucked them down with a straw with great gusto.  This last week though has seen her strength diminish.  For a few days she drank from a pipette... Carrot juices still included to begin with.  Then for the next couple of days just water... She said she would tell me when she was ready.  We shared everything.  Others may think

Sunday, 11 August 2013

I keep trying....

I don't really understand what's happened since the hospital visit. Amanda went in for an Herceptin infusion which didn't happen and was drained of 3 litres of abdominal fluid instead. But ever since the infusion of Zolodronic Acid a few hours later, to help bring down her Calcium levels she's been totally out of it, unable to to move. 12 days in bed is a long time. At times I get frustrated with myself. Was it the wrong decision for her to have the Z.A? Am I not doing enough? Is there more I could be doing.... There's always more we can do, but sometimes we're limited by circumstances. Amanda is in no condition to travel to Germany for instance, where they have fantastic cancer clinics. At the moment getting 10 organic juices in to her would also be an impossibility as she is only

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Side Affects.....

Sometimes I think the medical profession simply try to sweep how severe the side effects of certain medications can be 'under the carpet', or at least totally underplay their effects.
I brought Amanda home from Noble's Hospital on Thursday morning at 11am. Since then she has been in bed, unable to move. Thursday, Friday and Saturday were spent in agony, with exacerbated pain brought on by the zolodronic acid infusion. This infusion also caused confusion, fever and nausea. She is still in bed today. Then there's the heavy pay load of pain killers, they cause oral thrush and constipation.... two things that no one wants when there is already a large all encompassing physical pain presence. It's simply miserable.
Amanda was so sore and pained on Thursday night she sobbed to me asking for

Thursday, 1 August 2013

Herceptin Day....

Here we are driving to Noble's hospital. The sun is blazing through the windscreen of my little black 1999 Renault Clio and the morning temperature was already pushing 17 warm degrees. Having spoken to a couple of alternative/complementary cancer practitioners during the week Amanda finally decided to give Herceptin a crack. There comes a point where things feel so rough everything bar chemotherapy is worth a go. If you read this blog regularly you'll no doubt have already read about Herceptin in the previous posts, so I pray Amanda falls in to the small percentage of women that Herceptin helps. I pray even more she suffers no side effects. She has enough on her plate as it is..... Recently having enough on her plate has also been a problem. She has been

Sunday, 28 July 2013

The effects of biopsies and surgery on cancer metastasis.....

http://www.chrisbeatcancer.com/should-you-have-surgery-for-cancer/

For those of you that would rather read the study....

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15197090

Interesting.... Another good reason to for the NHS to use an alternative less primitive way of detecting tumour tissue in breasts other than the mammography 'press'.....

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Everyone has a point of view.....

Amanda spent the weekend in hospital, due to our lovely GP having concerns that her blood calcium levels were increasing above what is considered to be the norm.  By the time her first blood test at Nobles Hospital was taken on Friday evening, her levels were within the standard parameters once again... but they kept her in for observations.  There were also white blood cells in her urine, suggesting there may be an infection.  They offered her a course of antibiotics (before it had even been cultured), a general 'cure all' antibiotic, a fix it all solution.  She refused it stating she wanted to see if there was an infection or not before taking a course of antibiotics.  When the results came back they showed there was no infection.  So Amanda would have been given a course of antibiotics for no reason whatsoever.  
Her calcium remained consistent throughout the weekend, and she was discharged on Monday afternoon.  
When there is cancer in the bones, the tumours can leech out calcium in to the blood.  This can cause all sorts of problems.  Confusion, twitching and nausea being common.... of which Amanda was suffering all.  It can eventually lead to

Friday, 12 July 2013

Tough week....

As the title suggests it''s been a tough week.....
Amanda's pain initially reduced with an increase of the Hydromorphone Slow Release a week or so ago, then after a £160.00 skype meeting with Dr Rosy Daniels of Health Creation in the UK she made the decision to re-jig things.  Rosy provided her thoughts on what the best course of action was.  A few more changes to the diet, controversial ones in my mind according to

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Another Day Another Week....

Another day another week.... Monday gone Amanda was set to be heading off to Clatterbridge Cancer Centre in Liverpool for a couple of blasts of radiotherapy (typed with a casualness that should never be taken with the overall long term damage radiotherapy does).  One to the cervical spine and one to the lumbar region.  When Sunday arrived she wasn't feeling up to it.  Washed out, sick and sore.  I cancelled.
Last weekend she lay still.  As opposed to getting up, lifting things and moving around too much.  She has since managed the past 6 days without any 'breakthrough' medication, on top of her regular morning and night time painkillers.  A chat with the doctor, and

Thursday, 27 June 2013

Herceptin & Tamoxifen.... Cancer Wonder Drugs..... Or not? (Updated 1pm 27th July 2013)

Amanda and I read a lot about all the conventional methods of treating advanced breast cancer (and stage 1 breast cancer).  It would be lovely to discover something that's on offer that really worked, but sadly there doesn't seem to be anything.  It seems most folks either recover or they don't, regardless of whether they've been had chemotherapy or not.  The folks that survive it would probably have survived anyway lookin

Monday, 24 June 2013

The Parish Walk & Isle of Man Healers....

Hi folks, just me.
Thanks to everyone who contributed to the Parish Walk fundraiser for Hospice.  I haven't tallied everything up yet but I reckon we'll be over £1,700.00!  Nice!

Kate-Anne 906 spots a jelly sweet
on the ground.... She loves jelly sweets!
 I decided to try for Peel with my almost healed injury, but then after reaching Peel 24 minutes ahead of last year, I had myself convinced that my limp was purely imagination!  That my anterior tibialis tendon was fine and dandy..... 15 minutes later having checked through Peel rather than finishing there, I could no longer deny the presence of an inflamed tendon.  I limped on towards the next check point at Kirk Michael, which should have taken me about 90 minutes.   Instead it took 110 minutes, I was in agony.  Early retirement.
On a high note Carl & Kate-Anne (who travelled from Wales to come and see us, and have a crack at 'walking') aimed for Peel and romped in to their target destination 15 minutes after I'd passed through.



Jane (Amanda's sister) on the other hand, raced to Peel arriving at quarter past three (I got there at 4pm and was well chuffed!), then proceeded to walk on through the night, crossing the line with her partner Julie at 4.21am!!!  Awesome or what?!
They decided to walk the entire PW like this....
So they couldn't see how far they had to go!!!!!

They only just missed out on the most improved time by a mere 12 minutes.  They completed the Parish Walk in 20 hours and 20 minutes.  Insane!  Well done ladies.

This week I have witnessed so much kindness.  On Thursday evening a group of 7 island based healers got together to channel their healing energy through Amanda's tiny frame.  They arrived at 7pm and remained until almost 9pm.  These generous, kind souls gave up their time free of charge just to try and help Amanda.  That in itself exudes positive energy and emotions for me.  They performed Reiki and Quantum Touch healing.  Since Thursday, two have already returned to give Amanda further healing sessions.  Isn't it just wonderful that there are

Sunday, 16 June 2013

Mid June.....

Another week has passed by.... along with the summer, which I have no doubt will return shortly!  Ever the optimist eh?  This week Amanda's pain has been better managed, though the resultant side effects to this is zzzz zzzzz..... Whoops, sorry I dozed off there!  Yes, lot's of impromptu sleeping.  It can happen any time, literally any time..... She Skyped Robyn in the week.  They were chatting for over an hour, well Rob was, as when I returned from nipping to the Pharmacy she was sat contentedly in front of the laptop nodding off.  Thank heavens for Skype eh?  At least Rob could see why there were long drawn out silences.  Normally these silences are when Amanda is really mulling over her

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Incredible TT Races Weather....

Here on the Isle of Man summer can be measured in hours rather than months, but last week we were lucky enough to experience a week long spell of simply stunning weather.  Amanda managed to get out the back each day and enjoy the sunshine.  Whilst I sneaked down the road to watch the biggest and best motorcycle road race in the world, the Isle of Man TT Races, Jane and Amanda relaxed in the scorching sun.

150mph with stone walls to break their fall!



My shutter speed was 1/4000th of a second to  get
these three shots of this riders racing line... Madness!







Every hour or so I'd return and end up covering another piece of Amanda's sun blushed anatomy with a silk scarf to save her burning.  At one point she looked like a 'scarf stall' at an Indian market.

I mentioned last week about a home made card and 'frivolous cheque' Amanda received from a friend in Banbury.  I ommitted to mention she's also received a beautiful hand knitted scarf/snood/buff from Susie in Adderbury along with a beautiful card, plus a delicious delivery of Manx raw, organic chocolate from Lucy in Banbury hand made by a lady here on the Isle of Man.  Of course whilst we were in the hospice my Mum kept a constant stream of fresh flowers and various organic food stuffs coming in to liven up the room.  Amanda's Mum and Aunty provided a river of various types of clothing and healthy snacks too.  Everyone has been so lovely and generous.

This last week Amanda's discomfort has

Monday, 3 June 2013

Getting out and about....

It's great that Amanda is now getting out and about more.  We've been down to my folks, down to her folks and caught a sunset down at Bradda Head.
She is still suffering a lot of pain/discomfort, which makes her life very difficult, and is excessively tired most days.  Knocking out a  few hours of extra z's most afternoons.

The Protocel supplement is taken four times daily to aid Amanda's healing.  It has cured ( read Outsmart Your Cancer, it's not just for folks with cancer!)  many people of cancer since the 80's, when it was given free in the US by it's creators.  Then all the usual things happened with US Food & Drug Administration lot like all the other

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Home....

Our lives have blended with a modicum of normality now we're home.  Amanda is still in pain, but she's dealing with it.  She takes less breakthrough medication at home than she did at hospice.  Here she can go lie down and be with herself until it subsides.  There is no one to push painkillers her way, she makes the decisions, I just help.  Her once very dexterous aren't working for her due to the root nerve compression in the cervical spine (the neck), this is very frustrating for her.  Plus of course the intense pain down the arms, but she is coping.  All the prayers for healing along with all the positive messages and thoughts from friends and family do help.  They are at times so touching that they bring tears to my eyes.

One such message was from Amanda's uncle who lives in Scarborough.  He posted this touching message on FB after chatting with

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Leaving Hospice for Home Sweet Home....

In the end I think the doctors realised the only way they were getting shut of Amanda and I was by providing all the medication we felt was necessary to make home life possible.  This meant, most importantly that we had a 'breakthrough' drug.  Something that if the pain gets totally out of control, we can rely on.  The only thing that worked was a controlled drug (not normally permitted in the community) that had to be administered via a syringe, normally only carried out by a medical professional.... Not me for instance.  I pestered them to allow us to have the breakthrough at home, assuring them I was confident enough to

Monday, 20 May 2013

The Isle of Man Hospice

When we flew back from Clatterbridge (Liverpool) Cancer Centre to the IOM Hospice, the nurses welcomed us back 'Nice to see you again.... Welcome back'.... Lovely welcomes to a place you'd rather not be.  Due to the type of pain Amanda is suffering, managing it is a serious problem.  I have incredible toothache at present, had it a few weeks, but it's just about becoming unbearable at night.  The entire jaw bone aches and throbs.  Anyone who has ever suffered tooth ache or a

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Travels cut short....

Long time no hear, I feel you all saying.... Well we've had a lot on our plates.
Travels were cut short due to Amanda suffering an increasing bout of back pain as we travelled our way around India.  When debilitation finally kicked in she decided it was time to head to Bangalore for scans.  After a series of blood, urine and body scans (MRI and PET) over the space of two days, the conclusion was we needed to get home.  The scans showed

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Follow Amanda & I around India, Sri-Lanka & Nepal....

on a journey of peace, self discovery and healing...... Plus lots of crazy adventures I hope too!

www.wherearetheboyds.blogspot.com

Come join us for the journey and become a follower.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Charity Auction & Quiz Night - Going, Going, Gone!

We would like to say a big thank you to all who attended, donated and supported our Charity Auction on Friday 13th July.  It certainly wasn't unlucky for Penny Brohn.  The total raised on the night from the auction, quiz and raffle came in at around £1,800!  Awesome!  This plus the £730 raised through the Parish Walk gives us a grand total of £2,530 to donate to Penny Brohn Cancer Care.  Thanks again!
Mark & Amanda
xxx

Wednesday, 27 June 2012


Thank you so much for all your support especially (Jane, Andy, Titch and Amanda once her heels had turned into fully covered blisters).  Your sponsorship money will be greatly appreciated by the Penny Brohn Centre.

How far did we go?
Did either of us make it?

Amanda walked all the way to the parish of Jurby, 45 miles at storming pace over 12 hours of walking.  We were cold and very wet by 8pm, and Amanda's feet had well and truly given up the ghost.  

One of Amanda's Heel Based Hydration Packs.
Pierce & Suck....  
The pain was excruciating and she was also worrying about slowing me down.  There were time stipulations at every parish, where you clicked in electronically.


I decided to plough on, Titch heading home now as Jane and Andy with the new addition on Amanda were there to offer full support through the night.

I didn't know how far my legs and mind would be willing to carry me.
My right and left ankles were in terrible pain and my left knee seized up each time I stopped to water the hedgerows, not that they needed much as it rained from about 12pm until 3am ish... I think!  Each time I stopped to pee, I would literally hobble like Long John Silver for 3 minutes until the ligaments loosened on the outside of the knee.  Things weren't looking great.
I also allowed myself to get cold, shivering and talking drunken gibberish.  A quick change into my Under Armour thermal layer and snowboarding hat saw my temperature revert to normal, in fact toasty at times.
As I entered the Parish of Bride a beautiful barn owl silently wafted across the road and into the field, seeing such beauty lifted my spirits for a few minutes.   
As the remaining walkers were enclosed in the wet gloom the parishes drifted by more and more slowly.  My time advantage of one and half hours earlier in the evening diminishing with each check point.  I was now chasing each church, having to push harder and harder, each time thinking I may miss the check, but with a final 5 minute push making it by 2 or 3 minutes each time.
My crew kept chatting to me, feeding me little flapjacks which I'd made the day before, along with banana chunks and baked potatoes.  I swigged soup at roadside tables where locals were still  out supporting everyone even during the early hours.  I couldn't believe there were still people out!
I kept asking was I last, my crew kept telling me 'nooooo, you're not last', Amanda hopping out of the van at various intervals, squelching behind me in her socks (she couldn't get her trainers back on due to the blisters) with words of encouragement.  She was great.
The final parishes were killers, at times my mood fell so low I sobbed with pain, my feet slowed and I felt I had nothing left.....
The sky began to brighten as daybreak took kicked in.  I lost various walking companions I'd picked up along the way during the hours of darkness, leaving them behind on the up-hills (which were my strength), no  doubt they caught up on the down hills.  As I reached Laxey my ebb was low, but I was now only about 2 miles from Lonan parish, the penultimate church.  I was running twenty minutes late, the darkness, gloom and continuous dampness sapping my energy, will and strength.  This is where your support crew kick in (thanks again guys).
I powered as hard as I could up the steep hill towards Lonan parish church, knowing I'd just walked 78.5 miles and had only 6.5 to go to complete the entire Parish Walk.  Would they let me continue with me being 20 minutes late.  
I pleaded as the woman told me I was outside the deadline and I'd have to hand in my electronic timer.  I pleaded more telling the male official (a previous winner) that I could still do.  She told me I couldn't make it as I had an hour and a half to complete the final 6.5 miles.  I said I could make it, give me a chance.
He then said, 'OK let's just do what we meant to in this position.  You can carry on, but if you fail to make it in under 24 hours you will not receive a finishers certificate.'  Everyone was elated.  
I now had to walk at an average pace of 4.33mph.  That doesn't sound much, but when your ankles are swollen to fook and you've been awake for over 24 hours.... 4.33 is a fast pace too, believe me!  I put my head down knowing what I had to do.  An hour and a half of intense ankle and knee wrecking pain.  
2 miles in I didn't think I could maintain the pace, at times I was walking at 5mph!  Text messages started to flow through, and Amanda passed them on to me as the support van drove past each time.  Titch came back in at 7.15am, it was great to see him.  I had two painfully steep downhills and uphills before the final stretch along the Promenade.  As I ploughed my way the main road in to Onchan, a truck driver passing in the opposite direction gave me a big thumbs up, little things like that didn't half boost me.  Everyone is rooting for you, not just your crew, family and friends, it really is beautiful.

As I staggered slightly out of control down the steep hill to Onchan Parish Church, the old official form the previous Lonan Parish was there to meet me.  He was amazed to see me arriving with a couple of minutes to spare.  He congratulated me informing me he didn't expect me to make here and that now completing the Parish Walk within the 24 hours was now very possible.

My brother-in-law walked down the steep hill to meeting me half way as I forced myself up the  incline with everything I had, 'You've been walking at over 5mph, it's 2 miles from here to the finish line, you're going to do it!'.  I arrived back up on the main road, Amanda was so excited I had 30 minutes to complete the final two miles..... I even believed it was possible now.  The pain in my ankles was becoming unbearable, but I powered on.  Hitting the promenade my old PE teacher (who used to compete in various UK iron man contests, a super fit fella now well into his fifties, but looking about 43) came cycling towards me on his racer, 'Come on Boyda!  What an achievement, I can't believe it.' He said.  'You are the fastest person along this promenade in 3 hours!  You're going to make it!'.  He was so excited, it was lovely to see him.  My brother who was being driven along the promenade by his wife shouted 'Come on you stubborn b&$*ard.'  That may have seemed harsh, but he was right, and that's what had me coming along the promenade with 15 minutes to complete the final mile.



It was a wonderful feeling to have the support of everyone around you.  The cheers as I crossed the line, the emotion that filled the air.  Even Titch & Andy shed a hidden tear!  It was overwhelming.  
I completed the Parish Walk in 23 hours 56 minutes and 1 second...... The final finisher to complete the walk in the allotted time.  

Looking in less pain than I was letting on!

Another lady finished 10 minutes after me, which was absolutely awesome too, as she was packing in at Maughold at around 3am!

Wonderful Amanda holds me up.... She was awesome!!!

This was the interview immediately afterwards, they've edited out all my awesome humour!  ( I wonder why?) http://www.manxradio.com/newsread.aspx?id=60285

On getting back to Jane and Andy's I was really hobbling, my ankles, particularly my right ankle was incredibly painful.  It's being iced and elevated as I email!
My calves were in bits, and I'm still hobbling around like a crippled 80 years old!
I had a 10 minute bath to soothe the legs, then decided to shower off the soap.  Unfortunately I blacked out in the shower, collapsing in an eye rolling head apparently.  Screams from Amanda alerted Jane (and the neighbours no doubt).  When I came round I was in a tangled mess on legs and genitals as Amanda trickled cool water over my face and neck which was lovely.  
The next three hours were spent sleeping.
Amanda's heel based water balloons have been popped and dressed, so she is feeling better.  She is being an awesome nurse to me too!

I was hoping not to let anyone down who sponsored us to raise funds for the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre  -  Job done I reckon!
27th June 2012
This morning when I woke my left ankle didn't creak, neither did my right one, though in the last hour it's started again. Unfortunately they were both as painful as they were yesterday.... I'm elevated (just my ankles, not my mind) and resting....
Today I've decided to crawl and scooch (like a worm ridden dog) keeping the weight off them to see if they'll fix themselves quicker!
At the presentation do last night held at the Villa Marina I shuffled (unable to bend my ankles) on and off the stage extraordinarily slowly to collect my finishers trophy. Embarrassing to say the least. The audience had to clap twice to allow me to make it from the right hand side of the stage to the left. Dear oh dear oh dear!


Thanks again to you all.

Friday, 22 June 2012

Weather Outlook for The Parish Walk.....

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...... 
With the Parish Walk tomorrow and the weather looking like this:

Comments:
Strong winds. Heavy rain.A dry start then rain at times - heavy later. 

SW backing S 20-25 veering NW 15-20 on Sunday morning.


Visibility:
Moderate or good occasionally poor in rain.

I don't think either of us will be looking forward to trudging day and night around the Isle of Man.... Today 40mm of rain in forecast, and I think 20mm must have fallen already, it's hammering!
Thanks again to all those that have sponsored us.... I think we are really going to earn the sponsor money this time!


Anyone still wanting to show their support for myself and Amanda's fundraising attempt for the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre, you can sponsor us online at https://www.justgiving.com/boydsparishwalk

Good luck to everyone doing the Catherine House Walk in Banbury too! Hope your weather is better! xxx

Mark & Amanda



Wednesday, 20 June 2012

The Parish Walk - It's Close!

Thank you so much to those that have sponsored us.  The Penny Brohn Cancer Care Centre is such a worthy cause.  The kindness you have all shown will spur us both on in the Parish Walk this coming Saturday.
Training in TT Week..... Lots of bikes!
We've been doing six to eight mile walks every other day.  Peppered with 10 mile walks. 

The two long walks, a 22 mile and a 25 mile walk left us feeling pretty tired and painful..... So whatever we manage on Saturday is going to leave us in bits no doubt!

Blisters are the ruination of every walker.  Many of the entrants like to load up on painkillers for the final few hours, but we intend to stay painkiller free.  If the pain is too much, it's time to stop.  The pain will have to be pretty intense to make me stop.... Especially with one of my fishing buddies (Cam) sponsoring me £1 per mile.  He told me if I make it past Rushen Parish (20 miles), he will 'clip' me in his van to halt my progress along with the ever increasing hole in his wallet!  Ha ha!

The weather isn't looking too sharp at the moment, with a fair bit of rain forecast.... plus a stiff 20 mph west to south west wind.  Lovely!

Wish us luck!

Friday, 8 June 2012

The Parish Walk - 85 miles of walking hell over 24 hours!

During a lull in conversation a little over three weeks ago (it doesn't happen often!) Amanda came out with a rather unexpected question, 'Shall we do the Parish Walk?'. I laughed, sighed then said no. Why would anyone bother to try and walk around the Parishes of the Isle of Man in under 24 hours? It's eighty bloody five miles for goodness sake. Needless to say the next day I was out walking 6 miles, then again every other day since, with a couple of longer walks thrown in to see if our legs and feet have it in them to take on such a challenge.

Each year 1,600 or so people partake in the 85 mile madness, most of whom, if their feet don't fall apart too early, retire after 32.5 miles on entering Peel, a cracking feat in itself. Another 10% of starters decide to battle against their own mind, fight off the will to stop placing one foot in front of another at Peel and fall back in a comfortable pub chair to fill up on golden Manx ale and then get the bus home for a good night sleep. This 10% push themselves to the limits, their feet riddled with blisters and their minds packed with sleepless delirium, all in an effort to complete what is known as The Parish Walk. Good luck to that load of nutters I say! Amanda intends to walk as far as her feet will carry her, Peel being her main target. I on the other hand

Thursday, 15 December 2011

To the Penny Brohn and back.... to the Penny Brohn and back....

Amanda enjoyed her Shiatsu massage and meditation at the Penny Brohn Centre yesterday, then went on to enjoy a long bath later that evening, with a massage from yours truly before putting on a guided meditation, which would normally lead to a wonderful sleep..... Well so you'd have thought. But Amanda suffered a pretty sleepless night. A mind busy with all sorts, from visiting the Penny Brohn for the 2 day session today, to our SE Asia journey planning no doubt.

She was originally going to get the train and bus to Bristol, which would have taken an hour and a half all in all, along with a bit of faffing around between train bus and bus change. This no doubt caused her further anxiety. I picked up on her uneasiness and decided to drive her there. It's only a 50 (38 miles) minute drive... and a 50 minute drive back for me.... with a bridge toll of £6.00 which is slightly unfair! Ha ha!

Well I dropped my lovely lady off at 3pm, so I could avoid the rush hour on the way back to Cardiff. A quick trip to the petrol station enroute and I pulled up outside the house at 4.20pm. I reached for the front door key in the little box by the gear stick.... no, not there.... I checked the shelf on the dashboard.... no... not there either.... A pang of concern hit me as I called Amanda's mobile, 'you wouldn't have the front door key per chance?'.....'Oh no, I hope not.... Oh.... I'm soooo sorry, I have'. Great.... another hour and half drive I thought, and another £15 with petrol and the bridge toll, but what can you do. These things happen. I said my goodbyes, deciding that I'd try and contact Carl's brother Alex to see if he or his Dad had a spare key for the house before I decided to drive back to Bristol. As I shut the car door whilst saying goodbye to Amanda, then looking at the iPhone to see if I had Alex's number, a horrible feeling hit me as the car door shut. I felt all my pockets.... NOOOOOOO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! It was, there was my car key jutting out from beneath a bag on the passengers seat.... locked in. From bad to worse in a matter of seconds. I called Amanda, she said she'd get the bus and train back down to me, I told her no, and that I'd sort it somehow. I headed down to the nearest pub, grabbed a mulled wine and sat down hoping to warm up quickly. Armed with only a jumper (no coat) in 5 degrees with cold sleet starting to come down I was not prepared for the Winter outdoors, warmth was indeed a luxury. I checked for Alex's number. No luck. I went online and emailed him. Once that was done I decided to call a mechanic friend in Banbury to see if he had any idea how I could get into the car. He suggested a small wedge of wood hammered into the gap between the passengers side door and frame, then reach in with a coat hanger to try and open the car...... I headed back toward the house, quickly warmed by the mulled wine and cosy interior of the pub. I then remembered I had an AutoAid Breakdown plan which I'd never used. I called them up, and they said they'd have someone out to me. I knocked at our neighbours house Anne Marie, explaining what had happened, she brought me in to warm up and wait for the AutoAid guy to arrive. During that time Alex called, he didn't have a key but was hopeful his Dad probably would, he would call him. I sipped the hot tea that Anne Marie had kindly made me and chatted with d her and her husband John, who'd arrived home from work. The AutoAid man arrived about half an hour later, and had my car open about two minutes later..... soooo easy it was frightening. It literally took him about 20 seconds. A rubber wedge was..... well.... wedged down the window rubber, then a long metal rod was slid down the gap. He then lifted the lock from within the door. Tremendous. Remind me to never leave anything of any value whatsoever in my car ever again! Ha ha!

Whilst I sorted out the paperwork Alex called to inform me of the bad news that their Dad didn't have a spare key.... DOH! My car is drinking oil for fun at the moment, a quick text to tell Amanda I'd be there just after 7pm, and that I was going to top up the Clio with 'car drink' before I began the return journey to lubricate her pipes. She texted back that Ruth said I was more than welcome to join them all for the evening meal if I liked, and even stay on for the night if I liked. Very kind!

Well I finally arrived home at 8.30pm, not a bad drive at this time in the evening, and as a bonus, I dined on a delicious curry whilst there. A four hour delay in getting home..... It could have been a lot worse.... Though during that first minute of 'Amanda do you have the house key' then 'Oh God the car keys!' I didn't think it could! Ha ha!

Poor Amanda felt so bad, but she needn't have, it was just one of those things.... well two of those things acutally! Ha ha!

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Cardiff, Salsa and Surgery.

I know, I know..... The posts have become less frequent. You may think I'm slacking.... You may be right, but with so much planning for our trip to South East Asia along with all the work that must be tied up before we head off, there is soooo much to be done! Sorry folks.

Here I am updating the blog from my usual spot, on the first floor of the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre in Bristol. Amanda is here to have her Shiatsu Massage, then partake in a mediation later, which I may also participate in, if I get everything sorted before 12pm (I've just been informed it's a full house, no room at the inn.... ah well.)

Amanda and I have been in Cardiff for heading on for 3 weeks now, no one told us it was one of the wettest places on the planet! Ha ha! I think we have just hit it at a bad time. Here I am living a couple of miles from the fantastic river Taff, yet it has been too high to fish! Tumbling chocolate brown torrents are currently piling their way down stream. Yesterday hail storms combined with thunder and lightning were the order of the day! Gorgeous!  Today?  It's just hammering down.

Amanda has been doing lots of travel planning, the applications for our Vietnam Visas were sent off yesterday, so things are actually starting to happen. Amanda's newish diet is a little more relaxed now, in preparation for travelling, allowing the odd 'out for a meal' treat. Her options are vegetarian or fish dishes. She picks food that won't have dairy in it, so no creamy sauces or anything like that. She's also had the very odd glass of wine or champagne whilst at friends houses, though she is not making a habit of it. Even on 'The Food Hospital' on Channel 4 last night, an oncologist from the Bedfordshire Hospital stated that any positives from the reservatrol found in red wine is outweighed by the fact that it contains alcohol. He went on to say that even one alcoholic beverage a day is harmful as far as cancer goes.  Two friends of ours in Banbury, Pete & Tracey recently gave up boozing, fed up of suffering two to three day hangovers. They were at a gathering on Saturday night, orange juicing it all night long. Lovely to see. But like us, the first question they were always asked was why? You must have an answer prepared for the UK's alcohol adoring masses! Ha ha! It's hard for us all to get a grasp of why anyone would stop enjoying the inebriating benefits of alcohol, isn't it?!!! Ha ha! It's only when someone suffers from a directly related health issue that most folk decide to actually cut down. Yes cut down, very rarely give it up! It's amazing isn't it. Booze has a powerful hold over the majority of Great Britain!

The Bedfordshire Oncologist also has his cancer patients on 'Cancer Diets'. Broccoli, Turmeric, Tomatoes and tonnes of other fruit and veg..... many of the foods you'd have read about here many months ago. Things are changing! Even on the 10 o'clock news last week, it was stated that if people made lifestyle changes with regards to their diet alone, between 40% & 50% of cancers would never happen. That's a hell of a lot of cancer!

There is still no mention of depression and anxiety suppressing the immune system in the huge media circles as yet, but it will come. Probably another 10 more years down the line and we'll start hearing rumblings about peace of mind and the massive benefits of meditation.

Whilst lay in bed the night before last, just looking in to one anothers eyes, I'd suggested doing 'the eyes' for 5 whole minutes, not a staring contest or anything, just looking and loving. About 1 minute into the session  my beautiful wife burst into tears and sobbed. She wouldn't tell me why, she didn't want to talk about it. It was incredibly sad to see. I just snuggled her into my chest and stroked her until we started dropping off to sleep. Shortly after that I no doubt started to twitch and kick like a dreaming dog, pulling, pushing and poking her!

Last night we put on a Learn to Salsa DVD. It was great fun, apart from me getting grumpy about not being able to follow the steps. Freestyling, that's more my style! I've got the loose hips, but I do seem to struggle when following the hip swaying maestro's on screen performance! We have the basic steps down now, I just have to look at my feet the entire time, whilst permanently expressing of deep strained level of concentration all over my face..... In another week we'll be Salsa-ing with the best of 'em!

When we went to bed Amanda asked me was I going to make her cry again tonight, and giggled.

She then opened up about why she'd become so upset.

It's all to do with her operation. She doesn't like me to look at her anymore (how could I not, she is adorable, sexy and beautiful  -  except her angry face). How ever beautiful I think she still is, it remains in her mind that she must now be repulsive to me. She feels like she's some sort of physical freak, which is so so sad. I think she is as beautiful as she ever was. I'd love to see her comfortable again in her own skin. Within 10 minutes I thought it only fitting to physically demonstrate how sexy and beautiful she still is! Way haaaay! From deep and sensitive one minute to sexual innuendos the next. Sorry folks. 
I do think it worked a little bit, I'll have to keep trying this method to test it's long term efficiency as a form of treatment - I know I know, but someone has to do it!  Ha ha!  Maybe I can come at it from a different angle..... How rude! Ha ha! 
Amanda would consider surgery if.... well, if it didn't mean surgery really. She'd like to 'even herself up' as she puts it. She feels a bit wonky. But let me tell you, she still looks awesome! Surgery is certainly not required for my benefit, but if it made Amanda feel better in herself, less self conscious and more self loving again, well it may be something she looks further down the line.

Speak soon xxx

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Long Time No Chat....

Another fortnight has whizzed by.  We've been working and trying to sort out the logistics of our move to Cardiff then the Isle of Man.  We had a house sale last Sunday, and took about £300 for our efforts.  We shifted lots of bits and bobs, but still seem to have.... well.... lots of bits and bobs.  All the pieces of furniture we wanted to sell did sell, apart from a lovely little mahogany table.  That's now going to Stu & Holly's (if that's ok guys)!  Ha ha!  We loaded Stu's car up

Thursday, 3 November 2011

What's been happening?

Busy, busy, busy my friends.
Amanda has decided that after over 6 months of full on Gerson Therapy is enough is enough.  She has eased the regime down to include a few fresh organic juices each day, as and when she wants them.  This plus an organic, vegan diet, with no processed white sugar, salt or flour.  This may sound like a bind to the majority of you, but to us it's wonderful..... Freeeeeeedom (said in a loud Scottish accent like Mel Gibson when he portrayed William Wallace in Braveheart, what a brilliant film!)
She has chosen to carry on taking

Friday, 14 October 2011

10 Days on The Rock

The Rock, as I affectionately now know my birth place, the Isle of Man was, for the last 10 days our home once again.  On the right you can see a typical days weather for the island.  Amanda had me standing on those steps in the distance with my fishing rod!!!  Whilst I told her to hurry up, she was telling me to wait, as she didn't know how to work my camera.  Wait!!!???  Look at it!
An extremely stress filled 190 mile drive

Friday, 30 September 2011

The Journey

Soooo sorry.... I've took soooo long to update, 10 days.... It's simply not good enough. I know.
I suppose the mini heatwave we have, and still are experiencing has had something to do with it. Twenty six to twenty seven degrees Celsius at the end of September is simply balmy! It's been wonderful. That aside, Amanda has still been suffering much anxiety, confusion and sadness. There is joy in amongst it, but she just feels she has so much to do.

Amanda and her sister attended another one of Brandon Bays 'Journey Seminars' last weekend, but this time as 'process assistants', partnering up with those attempting their first process. Helping people come to terms with deep emotional problems, problems that have been

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Somethings Gotta Give!

Last week Amanda was suffering emotionally, feeling really down in the dumps. She was depressed and still is.  Ground Hog Day, where everyday is exactly the same as the one before, was becoming too much for my little lady. No juices, no enemas, no Gerson she said..... That's what was happening on Tuesday..... She was totally 100% fed up, and very upset. I tried to take the helm, but

Saturday, 10 September 2011

A fortnight slides by.......

Wow, and sorry.
Where did the time go?  We spent a week on the Isle of Man seeing our families.  I managed to get some superb surfing and fishing in, the inclement autumnal weather lending itself better to the surfing!  It was fantastic to escape the world for a few hours.  Bobbing around on the sea, wetsuited up, as it's bloody cold.  Just waiting for next swell to push it's way from the deep water up into the shallows, creating a beautiful wave to be ridden by it's luck captor,  it really was a joy.  Being out on the waves with three

Saturday, 27 August 2011

Fired and Re-hired, Then Fired Again..... The life of an amateur juicer.

I week has gone by.... and yet again I've not had the chance to go into details about the coffee enemas, so now seems as good a time as any doesn't it? But then the week has gone by too, and I want to tell you how Amanda is. So once again this is going to have to wait for a few days, I will get there though, I promise.

Wendy thanks for your kind comments and observations, it's lovely to hear from friends on the blog.
Amanda is amazing, she has incredible strength of body and mind, I'm only a helper..... Which does take the pressure off a bit some days, but other days

Monday, 22 August 2011

Retreat into Stillness....

Hi dedicated followers.... all 42 of you, whom I can no longer see as there has been some problem with our BlogSpot followers tab, but I know you're out there, and thank you for that.
Amanda had a lovely week at the Penny Brohn Centre.  She was able to spend time alone, without me in tow, bothering her, constantly mythering her, talking incesantly, poking and prodding.  They had only one day where silence fell upon the group.  Amanda apparently spent most of the silent lunch

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

All is good!

We've had a great week.
According to our GP, Amanda's blood tests have shown improvements for her liver function, and everything is looking fine and dandy blood wise.
The Gerson Practitioner also seems happy with the results.  All in all great news.
Sadly this changes nothing!  Ha ha!  Amanda is still on her restricted regime, and the juicing ploughs on regardless. Amanda is sticking to Gerson's Therapy where she can, unless of course we are away on a weekend, or as she is this week, at Penny Brohn.  She still dines on organic goodness, but

Friday, 5 August 2011

In the Summer time when the weather is fine!

I don't have an awful lot to report this week folks.
We've done as normal.... as you know already.... The weather has been very hot, the Swiss Chard and Lettuce garden silently screamed for refreshment, swayingly aggitadedly in the 25 degrees breeze. Their prayers were later answered, when yesterday an entire morning of the wet stuff deluged their leaves and roots.
Today, as I sit here quietly typing on my little organic grocery stall, the temperature is slowly roasting me - note I didn't say burning - that's past stupid, increasing your risk of skin cancer by leaps and bounds, no one should risk getting burned these days, though no one

Friday, 29 July 2011

My Wonderful Friday Off..... Not this week!

Well where I said I love Friday's I'd like to take it back.  It is currently the worst day of the week.
The juicing, the soup (including a visit to stupid Tescos to pick up organic celery and leeks to make the soup) work and the arrival of the organic fruit and veg.... I delivered boxes to the outskirts of Banbury this morning too, with the promise

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Another week.....

Sitting on the stall is always a good time to update you all with Amanda's progress, and what's been happening during the week.
We were at The Penny Brohn Cancer Care Centre on Wednesday, not much to tell this time. It was a short visit. Amanda had her Shiatsu Massage at 9.30am, then a guided group meditation before lunch. It was nice to see her painting still on the wall in the art room, they obviously appreciated it and found the message thoughtful...'Trust in you heart it will show you the way'. There was more, but my memory is rubbish.... Argh! Where am I!!? At lunch time Amanda invited a lady who'd been on the group meditation to sit join us at our little table for two. The lady had suffered bowel cancer a little over 5 years ago. She felt

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Journeys and Nandos....mmmmm.... Nandos.

Last Wednesday Amanda had a trip to London arranged - I use the word 'arranged' in it's loosest context.
She was meant to be leaving around 12pm, heading to a hotel to meet with a lady she met on one of The Journey seminars a few weeks ago.
By 10.30am there was still no hotel booked, and she required two nights, as on the Thursday she was attending a session that included varying holistic therapies, combined with

Saturday, 9 July 2011

AMANDA, JUST LET ME DO IT!

So after a very tempestuous week of high lows, tears and joy.... mainly tears, we've reached the end of the week. I am sitting on the organic grocery stall, the sunshine peeping through the dense cloud cover that over the past couple of days has provided our organic veg garden with much needed water. Things could be a lot worse. Neighbours kids charge up

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Highs and Lows.

Since I last spoke to you all (or the one or two that still read this blog, as there are not many now, not according to the statistics.  Seems once Amanda's struggle with the decision on her mastectomy, then the Gerson Therapy vs Chemo saga were all over, friends lost interest.  Everyone loves a bit of drama.  Well sorry folks, there will be little bits of drama here and there but hopefully

Friday, 24 June 2011

The Journey Manifestation Gig & Penny Brohn Cancer Centre

Well hello folks.
Last weekend Jane (Amanda's sister) came over from the Isle of Man to attend one of Brandon Bay's (The lady that started 'The Journey', an emotional self help programme) UK seminars, with Amanda.  This one was called 'Manifest Abundance'.  It's always great when Jane comes over, because for the few hours she is here, either on the way to a seminar or on the way back to the airport, she makes herself incredibly useful.  She takes over the juicing so Amanda and I can

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Pharmaceuticals Conglomerates, Medicines and Financial Markets.

Watched a very interesting documentary a couple of nights ago.  It was based around foods, vitamins and natural compounds used in treating and curing illnesses.  It illustrated that in America and the UK through misdiagnosis, allergic reactions to drugs with dire consequences and long term effects of prescriptions months or years down the line, along with hospital super bugs,  pharmaceutical companies (pharma's) hospitals and the medical profession are right up there with the top boys for leading causes of death in the US!  Bloody Nora, where does

Thursday, 9 June 2011

Amanda plays catch up.....

Hi Folks. Well it's been quite some time since I read Mark's blog and even longer since I posted on it.   I must say that as always, I enjoyed catching up on his thoughts, funnies and rantings...  However, if I'm honest, which I always aim to be - even more so recently after learning of the 'important psychological and physical benefits of honest,

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Anxiety.....

Well hello....
Long time no speak.  Last week we were on the Isle of Man for my brother's wedding.  I was playing best man, good God it was nerve racking, but it went well, and the speech was appreciated by most..... some may have found it a little offensive in places, but surely that's what a best mans' speech is all about!
Amanda spent time with her Mum, and even went to see her Dad, which is a strained relationship to say the least.  Less said, the better I think.  I caught lovely

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Bad-to-eat-icides & The Proob.

This week in addition to work, organic fruit n veg and Gerson Therapy, we have been reading 'Anti-cancer A New Way of Life.'  Again, another eye opener, cementing everything and more that I've already mentioned previously on nutrition and emotions.  The studies in this particular book are much more recent, plus lots of new discoveries nutritionally.  I don't want to turn this blog in to a 'How to Avoid Cancer' or 'How to Cure Cancer', there are plenty of books

Monday, 16 May 2011

The Moonwalk, The Grand Total & Wholesale Organic Veg.

Well Amanda & Kesha completed the Moonwalk in under three hours!  Get in ladies, and get in to everyone else who participated (Sandra & Cheryl of course) to raise money for 'Uniting Against Breast Cancer'.  Thanks to everyone who supported the Charity Auction & Quiz, and everyone else that sponsored the Amanda & Kesha.  Do you want to know what we all raised?  Of course you do.  From the initial meagre target of £250, which was constantly being upped

Friday, 13 May 2011

Healing, Cranio Sacral Therapy and Wholesale Organic Veg.....

Good evening everyone.
I trust you are all well.  Amanda has left me home alone. She and the girls have headed to watch Mama Mia tonight in London, then on the Saturday, well, a quick 13 mile walk through Hyde Park, starting at 9pm.  The Moonwalk, the event that you all so generously supported is taking place.  I am still yet to tally up the monies fully.  I will do this over the weekend, promise!
Amanda went to 'work' at the salon on Monday, and completed 3 hours waving her hands

Saturday, 7 May 2011

The week gone by - May 7th.

This week, you'll be surprised to know, we've had our head's in the books again.  We've enjoyed more beautiful weather, and the lettuce leaves are starting to show in the veg patch.  Amanda, whilst snuggled into my chest, shed a few tears of fear and anxiety, which anyone who has experienced what she has or any other form of life threatening illness will understand.  She also feels restricted by the therapy regime.  She is strong, but everyone has to release their emotions, clear the pipes as such.  Gerson Therapy is well under way, not always 13 juices but near enough 9 to13 daily.  Sometimes

Monday, 2 May 2011

How is she?

When ever I bump into our friends or Amanda's salon clients, I get this question.... Sometimes with an added 'Good days and bad days?' or something along those lines before I've even had a chance to answer. It's funny really, people expect certain things of someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. For starters we all have an image of someone with cancer. We expect them to have no hair,

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Penny Brohn..... and Travellers.

On Tuesday I hit Tescos at 6.30am, it was lovely.  Only staff to get in my way, which seems to happen more in Tescos than any other supermarket in town.  After 10 minutes of fruiting and veg-ing, and swift drive home, I started Amanda's juicing regime at 7am.
I decided to do the full whack of juices for her, I was aiming for 13. By the end of the day she had swigged 12 fresh veg juices, no sorry, it was 11, as she didn't make her own one at 7pm whilst I was playing footy.  It's alot, and doing that much juicing is bloody time consuming to say the least.... for every 3-4 juices,

Monday, 25 April 2011

The Easter Weekend.

The Easter weekend is almost at an end. The weather has yet again been dazzlingly beautiful for everyone to enjoy. This is the main downside to Mr Gerson's plan. Yes Amanda and I can enjoy our wonderful garden, and the sprouting shoots that are beginning to establish themselves in fairly neat rows, some a little closer to one another than they should be, but Amanda likes them to be cosy as they grown, but we can't just jump in the car and bugger off somewhere, like we used to. This is an inconvenience for us both. We both like to head off at the drop of a hat, this is the main reason

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Penny Brohn - Part II

Amanda's hatred (which wasn't hatred in fact) dispersed quickly in the gentle atmosphere of The Penny Brohn Centre.  She said she didn't want me to project my feelings of anxiety (work related) upon her, as she was already dealing with as much as she could cope with, which was understandable.  I didn't mean too, I was just airing my work related concerns.  I wasn't really thinking.  Anyways,

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Penny Brohn Centre & The Journey Seminar

Amanda and Jane arrived back on Monday night after their 'Journey Experience'. They returned full of stories. They told me of other peoples Journey's, their fights against cancer and other illnesses, through various forms of meditation (mind and body healing). Out of the 150 or so folks at the seminar,

Saturday, 16 April 2011

This Week & The Quiz & Auction!

It's been another week of learning, really swatting up on nutrition.  Refreshing, renewing and updating my old Biology knowledge..... University was many, many moons ago!
Amanda's pains are subsiding, though her blood pressure has been low.  She is managing to

Friday, 15 April 2011

Auction List for tonight!

Sorry I've been rubbish this week
rushed off my feet, will update tomorrow morning!

PRIZES TO BE AUCTIONED

DONATED BY: DESCRIPTION: VALUE
Adele Wilson Try Scuba Diving (for 2) £50.00

Susie Cut & Style £38.50

Ellen Readin Cut & Colour £80.00

Ellie Auld Cut & Colour £90.00

Kelly Moriarty Glass Bead Jewellery £10.00

Sarah Nunn Charity Bear – Names provided Can raise

Holly National Trust Hamper and Books £100.00
National Trust Tickets £50.00

Suzie's Client Signed Schumacher Baseball Cap £45.00
From 2011 GP

Suzie's Client Home Shell Therapy £35.00

Donna Meredith Fairy Princess Party Box for 10 £40.00
Disney Princess Party Box for 10 £40.00

Martin/Em Home Produce (once a month for yr) £45.00

Drennan Team England Jacket £35.00

Nicky Gough Will & Last Testament Service £200.00

Able & Cole Organic Produce Voucher £17.50

Riverford Organic Produce Voucher £15.00

Ryan Men’s Bench Watch £30.00
Woman’s Morgan Watch £20.00
Leather Purse £5.00

Ryan Avon Toiletries £30.00
Breakfast Hamper £20.00

Esther Staples Professional Homemade Designer Cake 175.00

Helena Borthwick Hypnotherapy Session £50.00

Mark Fishing Session £50.00
Clattercote Fishing 7 day passes ticket £35.00

Karen Mckay Fancy Dress Voucher to the value of £25.00

Perfect Presents Small Picture Frame £10.00

Kesha True Nails Pedicure & Manicure £30.00

K T Lu's Sequin & Diamonte Clutch Bag £10.00

Caroline Dixon MOT at Vauxhall Banbury £49.95
Full Service Boyle's Motors M.C. £160.00
Chistian Dior ladies presc specs £150.00
Signed Doctor Who Pillow Case £ Memorabilia
Tour of F1 Factory at Silverstone for 6 £100.00
Rear Wing from F1 Spyker (2007) £Memorabilia
Autographed Fisichella Print £Memorabilia
Pampered Chef Capacinno Cups £17.50

Lee McCallum Dinner for two at The Black Boy £50.00